She Said, 'I'm Okay' — And I Knew My Purpose

There are so many thoughts that cross my mind on a daily basis. But one that has stayed consistent through the days, months, and years is this: the desire to reach out and help others.

I’ve always been drawn to writing, whether it’s scribbling in a journal or sorting through thoughts in my head.

For those who know me, you know how much I love health, fitness, wellness, anything that helps people live better, fuller lives. But this blog will go beyond that. It will be a space for life experiences, reflections, growth, and the lessons that shape us.

The desire to help others has always been part of me, since I was a little girl. Over time, that desire has only grown stronger and taken on deeper meaning. I’ve felt empowered to follow this calling. And when I think about why I want to help others, a memory of my sister Kerstin always comes to mind.

I grew up with my parents, my middle sister Kerstin, and my youngest sister Remy. Like most siblings, we had our share of little arguments, but we also had so much fun, playing with dolls, building with Legos, running through sprinklers at our grandparents’ house, and crawling through the barbed wire fence to find the bull amongst the cows. As we got older, we grew closer, laughed harder, and built even more memories together. Life had its ups and downs, but we made the most of what we had.

In 2008, we lost Kerstin in a car accident. It was heartbreaking, devastating in a way that’s hard to describe. She was a vibrant young woman with a fierce passion for life, chasing her dreams and soaking in every moment. One of our last memories together was snowboarding all day in Montana. I was exhausted afterward, ready for bed, but she was full of life, got cleaned up and went out to enjoy the night. That was her: she lived fully, fearlessly, and with intention.

I’ll never forget a dream I had shortly after she passed. I was flying home on the redeye and, in the dream, I found myself in a high-rise in Waikiki. I saw her on the balcony, her hair blowing around in the wind. Shocked to see her, I ran to the sliding door. It looked noisy and chaotic outside but as I opened the door it was calm and quiet. She smiled and said, “I can’t come in, but I’m okay.” Then I woke up. It lasted less than two minutes, but it felt like her way of saying goodbye, and letting me know she was at peace.

Losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. I was her older sister, the second mom, and in my mind I was suppose to watch out for her, make sure she was safe and save her if she needed saving. And I felt as though as I had failed her as I was not able to save her from the accident. This experience taught me something powerful. It taught me to appreciate the small things, to never take life or people for granted. Whether it’s celebrating a birthday, traveling, or simply reading a book on a rainy day, everything we experience is worth savoring.

That experience deepened my desire to help others. I wish I could have helped her, by listening, talking, sharing advice, anything. And while I can’t change the past, I can use that pain as a catalyst to support others on their journey.

This may be a personal blog, but I want to be real, with myself and with you. My passions are to help others, to offer encouragement and motivation, and to show people they can reach their goals. I also want to write, to share thoughts, lessons, and stories that just might resonate with someone else.

I want to be an advocate for positive change. I want to inspire myself and those around me. Keep a positive mindset. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. And make the most of every moment you’re given. Just Gaux for what you want.