Is it time to end this chapter?
Apr 03, 2025
Man, it's been a ride. To be honest, it's been hard, really hard. Struggle in the gym, struggle in business, struggle in life, over and over. To wake up and fight over and over, it's been exhausting. But I have done it, for many days, weeks, months, years, and over a decade now. I am a fighter. To get up and face the headwinds over and over.
When do you call it?
When do you say enough is enough?
When do you say you are over the struggle?
When do you draw the line in the sand and say, it's been a ride, time to wrap it up?
Tears come to my eyes as I write this. Do I say it's coming to an end, do I say it's been a good run? Do I say, thank you for all the support, but it's time to pivot?
I don't want to let go. I don't want this to be the end of my journey, but damn, it's been fucking hard. Struggles that I keep hidden. Struggles that I keep to myself. That I bury deep down inside to use as fuel as I keep fighting. I think to myself, maybe I'll break through today, tomorrow, next week?
I believed in myself. When I first started, I wanted to compete with badass women in the arena from around the world. I worked my ass off to get there. Fought the haters, the people who said they 'believed' in me. I made it. I qualified and was in that arena, as one of those badass women I had looked up to. Year after year.
I believed in my program. I believed I could help others. That I could help uplift others out of a dark period in their life, like that I went through. I fought through an eating disorder, anorexia, and binge eating and decided that I was going to get better, and healthier and not succumb to it.
Then, my sister passed away in a tragic car accident. I was devastated. I had failed Kerstin, I didn't protect her as the eldest sister. I should have called her back, maybe she would have waited to get on the road and that would have saved her from the accident. She was changing her life around and had so much ahead of her. Why was she taken so suddenly?
Why do I share this? Why do I share the failure, the struggle? Because few people get to the top. Everyone has failed. Everyone has had a struggle in their life. A challenge or roadblock that they had to face.
Is this the end? I don't want it to be, but some reflection is in store to evaluate what's ahead.
I can't say thank you enough for your continued support.
11 comments
Margaux,
That is truly a devastating burden to put on yourself. Know that you did what you could at the time-nobody has a crystal ball. I’ve been in law enforcement for over 30 years, and I thought that maybe I could make a difference. Maybe if I just saved one person, then the career was worth it. Looking back, I have saved more than one but I’m not sure what I lost in the process-I lost my innocence, lost weekends & holidays with family & friends. So much lost over the years that it’s hard to tell, most of all I lost my wife of 25 years to a divorce just 2 years ago. You are an inspiration to many people, including myself. That’s why you are here-you may not see it, but you are truly helping others, and you can’t give that up. Stay in the fight- ISAIAH 6:8 " Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying- Whom shall I send? And who will go for us? And I said, Here am I, Send me!"
Life is a journey. Every day is different with ups and downs. It only ends when we pass and are put to rest. You are looking now to write a new chapter. One that it appears that you need to open up and let things out that you have been holding in. True strength comes from being open and honest about all things. Life sucks at times and being honest about that. Frees yourself to show others what true strength is.
Jeff🤙
Margaux,,
I’ve known you since you were such a little girl. You were always the big sister to both your sisters. I clearly remember your playroom on Mercer Island That night wasn’t your fault. Some things happen in life that we have no control over. You have been such a role model for others. Take pride in that. I know I look up to you! Rest now on your strengths. Don’t be in a hurry to take on anything new. Let it come to you only if it makes you feel good and offers you some peace and JOY! Give that gift to yourself . Then you can share and accept gifts from others!