Is it time to end this chapter?

Man, it's been a ride. To be honest, it's been hard, really hard. Struggle in the gym, struggle in business, struggle in life, over and over. To wake up and fight over and over, it's been exhausting. But I have done it, for many days, weeks, months, years, and over a decade now. I am a fighter. To get up and face the headwinds over and over. 

When do you call it?
When do you say enough is enough? 
When do you say you are over the struggle?
When do you draw the line in the sand and say, it's been a ride, time to wrap it up?

Tears come to my eyes as I write this. Do I say it's coming to an end, do I say it's been a good run? Do I say, thank you for all the support, but it's time to pivot?

I don't want to let go. I don't want this to be the end of my journey, but damn, it's been fucking hard. Struggles that I keep hidden. Struggles that I keep to myself. That I bury deep down inside to use as fuel as I keep fighting. I think to myself, maybe I'll break through today, tomorrow, next week?

I believed in myself. When I first started, I wanted to compete with badass women in the arena from around the world. I worked my ass off to get there. Fought the haters, the people who said they 'believed' in me. I made it. I qualified and was in that arena, as one of those badass women I had looked up to. Year after year. 

I believed in my program. I believed I could help others. That I could help uplift others out of a dark period in their life, like that I went through. I fought through an eating disorder, anorexia, and binge eating and decided that I was going to get better, and healthier and not succumb to it.

Then, my sister passed away in a tragic car accident. I was devastated. I had failed Kerstin, I didn't protect her as the eldest sister. I should have called her back, maybe she would have waited to get on the road and that would have saved her from the accident. She was changing her life around and had so much ahead of her. Why was she taken so suddenly? 

Why do I share this? Why do I share the failure, the struggle? Because few people get to the top. Everyone has failed. Everyone has had a struggle in their life. A challenge or roadblock that they had to face. 

Is this the end? I don't want it to be, but some reflection is in store to evaluate what's ahead. 

I can't say thank you enough for your continued support.